Running out of time...

I am 22 years old, studying in a business school, and now enjoying life as an exchange student in Tokyo. I am part of those people who have an identity made of different cultures: born in one country and grown up in another one with three native languages, and who have to answer questions like «which country do you prefer?», and have then to explain that we cannot choose. I am an optimistic person who has a lot of hope and expectations about life. I am curious about everything I don’t know. I am also a lazy person who is doing contradictory things: I hate wasting time, but I do waste a lot.

I need to organize my life here, so that I can be on time, to meet people and to have my work done. It is just so difficult in Tokyo, city which never sleeps... I need to sleep more as well. Actually, 48 hours days would be so much better, but still not enough I guess. I need to know how to say no a party when I don’t have time, money, or when I have to be at work  early in the morning the next day. I need to have the feeling that I do something with my life and that I learn more everyday.

I want more. I am still looking for something else, new, special, different, although I don’t know what. I want to go everywhere, find interesting places, people, lifes, way of thinking. I guess I also want to know more about myself at the same time... 

I fear I will not find what I am looking for, I fear I will end up one day living the kind of boring life that I just don’t want, trapped by my surrounding. I fear I will have to face someone telling me «You see, I told you, you were young and optimistic at that time, but that’s life». But now, I am full of energy and I don’t care. I just fear cockroach...